The Pyramid of Relationships by Phill Stutz

The Pyramid of Relationships by Phill Stutz

In the new documentary Stutz, Jonah Hill, a comedian and actor, introduces his therapist Phil Stutz to the wide Netflix audience. He does it to share Stutz's therapeutic tools with everyone who could potentially need them. At the end of the documentary, Hill reviews his initial motivation and expresses more personal (and true) reasons for creating the film.

I'm not going to list all of the tools because there are many of them but there is one that caught my attention.

The Pyramid of Relationships

Stutz claims that when a person is depressed, they need a clear set of to-dos to improve or awake their life force. He defines a three levelled pyramid of relationships. The base is body, the middle layer - people and the peak is self. In order to feel balanced or good, a person needs to take action in all of the layers.

The Stutz Pyramid of Relationships
The Stutz Pyramid of Relationships

What can you do for your body?

  • go for a walk,
  • get enough sleep,
  • eat healthy,
  • exercise,
  • take a shower.

How can belonging be nurtured?

Depression, says Stutz, pulls us back from life. The People layer could be also called Connection. How can a person feel more connected? Stutz advises: Take initiative, grab a coffee or lunch with anyone. It will bring you back to life.

The isolation, the world has been living in for the last 3 years doesn't help us feel close to others. The online chats, calls and texts cannot replace the value of a meeting in real world.

Connect with yourself!

At the peak of the pyramid there is the relationship one can have with oneself. Stutz says that the connection with the unconscious mind is of a great importance. How does one achieve it? By writing! As someone who journals almost every day and last year wrote 800 pages, I cannot agree more. Writing has a lot of advantages but from my experience, its biggest one is making overwhelming problems smaller.

The writing doesn't need to be of literary value or any good but the therapist suggests writing in a journal form. If you've never done it, I encourage you to experiment with notes about your day, events and feelings.